For as long as I can remember, I have loved music. Some of my earliest memories involve singing along to my favorite tapes (yes tapes) and using a tennis racket as a pretend guitar. I could seriously rock back then!
Very early, that love developed into a dream to play in a band myself someday. Specifically, I wanted to play guitar and sing in a band.
As my musical “career” developed, I played lots of music – concert band in middle school, high school and college, jazz band in high school in college. I even took guitar lessons. I also learned how to play drums and played on worship teams at my church, which I still do.
I also did many things to be around music. I ran sound at church and for some friend’s bands. I even did an internship at a music management and marketing company where I helped book shows for bands and assisted in their business management.
All of that helped me improve as a musician, taught me some important lessons and gave me valuable experience.
However, it all was largely dancing around my actual dream.
By that, I mean I was doing things related to what I dreamed of doing, but I wasn’t doing the actual thing.
I think there were many reasons for the dance but the biggest was, and still is, fear. Fear of risking only to find out that I really can’t do it, fear of what others might think or say, fear that I’m really not that good, fear that there’s already so many talented people doing things like this that I’ll look like a fraud in comparison, etc.
Continuing to dance around it meant not facing those fears and the possibility that they might be confirmed. There is a strange comfort in that dance.
But a couple of years ago I decided I was tired of the dance and I resolved to stop it, at least partially, and start taking steps toward my dream.
I started with a small goal that seemed monumental at the time – to play 2-3 songs by other artists (cover songs) at a local open mic within a year.
Because I’m more likely to accomplish a goal when I do it with someone else, because it is more fun to do things with friends and frankly, because I needed help, I enlisted the assistance of my friend and accomplished guitarist, Todd and we started practicing.
It went pretty well at first. But then, the resistance hit.
I’ve noticed that in the pursuit all goals we face road bumps at some point. For some reason my musical pursuits seem to face the most.
One year turned into two and then two and a half. Life happened, the obstacles piled up and we still hadn’t played anywhere.
During that time we kept practicing pretty regularly and continued to improve. While it was discouraging at times, we never lost sight of the goal. We also added another member to our group, my friend Kelly who is a very talented singer.
When I finally got around to trying to sign up for an open mic there were more roadblocks.
The place we were hoping to play at had stopped doing their open mic nights and the other place in town wouldn’t let us play covers. So, in a rare moment of boldness I decided to walk into the first place and ask the owner if she would let us play anyway. Somewhat to my surprise she said yes!
On Friday, March 29 we finally accomplished the goal! It wasn’t perfect by any means but I think it was awesome, if only because we didn’t give up and we played our hearts out. Also, instead of playing three songs we played eight. Since we were the only group playing that night we thought it might be lame to only play a couple of songs. So not only did we accomplish our goal we exceeded it!
Best of all, before we were even done with our set the owner shouted from behind the bar, “You guys are awesome, do you wanna play First Friday sometime?”
First Friday is a local art walk in our town and her place is one of the most popular places to hang out. She books bands for a three-hour timeslot each month and we’re scheduled in June! Obviously we have a big task ahead because we have to learn more songs and fast, but the challenge is so exciting!
Taking that small but monumental step towards my dream feels huge and it shows that great things can happen when we stop dancing around what we want and go directly for it.
I realize the temptation to dance around it will still crop up now and then but this feels like a breakthrough and I’m excited to see where it goes next. Honestly, I’m feeling more motivated and alive than I have in quite some time and I think it is because I’m pursuing something that I’ve wanted to do for so long.
What dream are you dancing around? What are you afraid to face and actually chase after? If there’s something that’s been on your heart for a while it is probably there for a reason. Maybe it comes and goes and life has had a way of beating it out of you and crushing your belief in yourself. I’d like to challenge you to take a courageous step back towards that dream.
In her book, Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert offers some excellent advice on taking those courageous steps. One of the ideas that resonates with me most right now and something I have to almost constantly battle to believe, is the truth that we’re all entitled to be creative and to pursue our dreams and goals.
You’ll never be able to create anything interesting out of your life if you don’t believe you’re entitled to at least try. Creative entitlement simply means that you are allowed to be here, and that – merely by being here – you are allowed to have a voice and a vision of your own. – Elizabeth Gilbert
To some those words may seem obvious and like not big a deal. But to those of us plagued by regular self-doubt, they seem pretty profound.
If you’re one of those self-doubters I hope you’ll take them to heart and that my story of taking a step toward my dream will encourage you to do the same. I think you’ll be surprised by what happens!